How to Go From Shy to Hi!
How to go from shy to hi!
If you are an introvert in public and you wonder why guys never approach you, here are 5 great tips that I’ve learned from Leil Lowndes to help us all navigate the holiday season. Don’t miss out, the season is ripe to meet and greet!
If you are anything like me, you might just get quieter than usual in public, even if you are warm-hearted by nature. Being armed with ideas like this before you go is important to defrost your defenses. The whole world could use some warmth right now, may it begin with you!
First of all, there are men all around you. You may not notice them because you don’t know them. They cruise by and peak at you with a side glance, corners of the mouth upturned, looking for a cue from you. You may give them a half-smile and continue doing what you are doing. Barely noticing, mostly caught up with the idea that no men ever approach or that there just aren’t any men. It’s true, it’s easy to get an idea in your head such as “there are no good men, men don’t ever see me, or I only attract creeps.” But the more committed you are to these ideas, without realizing it, you are putting them on a pedestal and not allowing yourself to see otherwise. You are unwittingly blocking the opportunity to meet someone great.
Remember, you can always say, “It’s been a pleasure talking to you, I see a friend that I would like to catch up with as well”, and excuse yourself. Warmth does not mean you are obligated to them. Who knows? Maybe, you practice with women first. You’ll meet loads of people and you never know, they may know the guy you want to meet. :)
So let’s begin, you are headed out to any kind of social engagement-
5 Tips to Get a Conversation Going:
1. Wear something that inspires conversation: mala beads, a T-shirt with a fun message, outstanding earrings, a fun hat, a unique bag. Something that invites curiosity or interest.
2. Then, instead of giving one-liner answers, use the question to fill in your answer with a little bit about who you are. For instance, “Thanks! I bought this hat while I was in Durango at an Ashtanga yoga workshop. It never ceases to amaze me because I can wear this hat to parties and to walk my dog, it’s so multi-dimensional!” All he did was compliment your hat but now he knows that you do yoga and have a dog. You have shared two things about your life that you value. This gives him some material to continue the conversation and a little glimpse into who you are.
3. How to break into a circle of people- Eavesdrop. Wait for a word that could stimulate conversation, excuse me, I couldn’t help overhearing your discussion of Costa Rica, I’ve always wanted to visit, where do recommend I go?
4. If you are at a party and see someone who looks interesting, ask the host, “That man looks interesting, who is he?” Get some beta and then don’t be afraid to use it as a conversation starter. Guys love it when women approach them and show interest, as long as you don’t get sticky and plant yourself in front of him with no chance of an escape for him. Listen to your intuition and pull away before you stay too long. Then he knows you are warm and interested, but he gets to choose to pursue you if and when he is ready.
5. Parroting. Just like a parrot repeats the words of the speaker, you can also take the two words from their sentence and just repeat them as though you were asking a question.
“I have been running quite a bit lately.”
“Running lately?”
“Yes! My favorite run is a hidden little road out beyond the edge of town.”
“A hidden road?”
“Yes, not that many people seem to know it’s there but it take me past the river and I really enjoy the wild geese out there in the mornings. It reminds me of when I lived up north.”
“Up north?”
You get the picture, and he’ll also remember you with a fondness because you gave him the opportunity to talk about him/herself.
BONUS TIP!
6. Research has shown that eye contact awakens feelings of respect and affection. It increases feelings of intimacy and have been referred to as “the initial organ of romance” by anthropoligists. Keep in mind the different between hard eyes and soft eyes though because hard eyes feel critical and judgmental while soft eyes are receptive which is always attractive. Here’s the trick, while having a conversation with someone, maintain eye contact without self-consciousness by counting the person’s blinks. Steady eye contact “increases the heartbeat and shoots an adrenalinelike substance gushing through their veins.” Men love to feel respected and admired, therefore this technique will cause them to feel more connected to you and not only that, but he will actually perceive you as more intelligent and insightful. Keep the gaze a second or two after he stops talking and then as though you were connected by a string of warm taffy, begin to slowly turn your eyes away. Not fast, but slowly. This holds a certain mystique that will spark interest as well.
Don’t be shy ladies, men love your confidence and warmth. Just make sure you don’t stay too long so that he has the opportunity to pursue you. This keeps him coming.
You have to get it in your head that love IS looking for you. It’s just a matter of learning how to magnetize the right man. You have everything you need to do it too!
If you need a little coaching, I’m here for you!
Schedule a FREE “attract your soulmate” coaching call with me and we’ll get you on the right foot to call in your beloved in 2022. This call is available for you only for a limited time! Get it while it’s hot!!
Happy holidays beauty!
Love always,
Kristin